Human beings are complicated. We can be so stubborn about how the toilet seat should up or down and yet don’t know what we want for lunch. We can pour our hearts out to one person and act like everything’s OK with another. We want to shower someone with love and yet, our actions push the very people we love further away.
In fact, the closer we are with someone – be it spouse, partner, parent or children – the harder it seems. In this article, I’ve compiled a list of signs that someone doesn’t cares, but actually do (that someone could also be you!) If you have more to add to this list, drop a comment at the end of the article!
1. They Argue With You
You disagree with each other. You argue over how things should be done. You get upset. You get mad. Then you get back together. All of us are born with certain dispositions, different personalities if you may. Add to that a different set of upbringing, friends, generation, beliefs, values and media exposure. Multiplied by the number of years both of you have lived and we get a true melting pot of culture – regardless of how similar we think we are.
Differences of opinion is bound to happen when there are 2 human beings involved. The only difference is those that are close to us care enough to speak up and disagree – even though they know you may get upset or angry. In other words, they are taking a risk on your relationship simply because they care. Sometimes, an act of love is perceived as an act of non-love; unless we look beyond the surface and see their true intentions.
2. They Point Out Your Sh*t
Everybody wants someone who believes in them, supports them and encourages them to pursue their dreams. This is important – very important. But beyond just being a cheerleader, they also keep you in check. They are not afraid to voice out if they see you going astray or falling into a self-sabotaging downward spiral. In fact, they are probably the only ones calling you out on your sh*t.
It hurts, but remember, at least they care enough to tell you the truth. Calling you out also means they have not given up on you or your dreams. If you don’t care about someone, would you confront them for their benefit?
3. They Don’t Call Back
You know the stereotypical scene where the girl merajuk (sulk), hangs up the phone and waits passive-aggressively for the guy to call back? Or when the kid starts crying and mopping the floor with their t-shirt because they didn’t get their favourite potato chips? It might seem very romantic and loving when someone gives in to your demands. But, does it?
More often than not, the boy is afraid that the girl will break up with him (I mean, who really looks forward to call a thunderstorm?) and the parent is afraid of other shoppers judging them for their parenting style. In the long run, giving in to these demands only exacerbate things. They’ll demand more instead of learning to deal with their own emotions. So, sometimes, the best thing someone can do when met with an unreasonable request is to not call back. Just give them the space to be with their feelings and work things out on their own.
Final Thoughts
Love is tough. It’s not all cheesy and romantic like we see in the movies. And although painful, tough love is like a bitter medicine that heals. All of us need it from time to time so that we grow up and learn to be better for ourselves in the long run. It’s not easy when we’re on the receiving end, but neither is it easy when you’re on the giving end. The important thing is to remember the intention (to care & love) and always get back together and work things out.
Thanks for reading! If you read all the way till the end, drop a ๐งก somewhere in your comment down below. It helps Google find my new site and it helps other readers when you share your ideas. Muchas gracias! ๐
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Have you ever given or receive tough love? ๐งก How did it affect you?
Me young and immature. Thought that it were only tons of annoying act. Yes, it starts by annoying act and followed by sheets and sheets of letters. We’re not digital yet ๐คฃ.
How it affects me. Memories, that I treasure much. My very precious treasure. ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ
I’m sure it has helped you to be the brilliant person that you are today ๐ that’s why you treasure this memory so dearly.
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Totally agree. I wouldn’t bother argueing with someone I don’t care about much. Argueing is so effortful, I’d only do it for people worth doing it for.
If that person doesn’t matter to me, I’d rather sweep it under the carpet or just leave the relationship hanging as it is. As cliche as it sounds, ” is it worth fighting for?” Hahaha
Absolutely spot on! I think it’s very clear to the person on the giving end – that they are doing this to benefit the other oarty.
The difficult part is to remember this point when we are on the receiving end because the ego feels attacked.
Thanks for bringing up the last bit “is it worth fighting for?” Sometimes, it’s really ok to let go of a relationship when it doesn’t serve you anymore. Thanks for sharing! ๐๐ป๐งก
Unfortunately, my ex did no. 2 and 3, but I also found out he’s just emotionally unavailable for me. The points here are just too little to justify if they really still care for you, especially no.3 for a person who is emotionally unavailable. Emotionally unavailable people tend to brush off problems and sweep it under the carpet.
You might like to explore the 3 attachment styles, which talks about the 3 major types of people I’m a relationship. Keep up the good writing work ๐๐ป
Hi there, thanks for sharing your personal experiences. Being with an emotionally unavailable person sounds really hard and draining.
And you brought up a really, really good point that i hadn’t considered while writing the article – the same actions I described could come from a place of love OR it could also come from a place of non-love as was the case of your ex. And that’s definitely not caring for the other person!
So, really, thank you for bringing up this point. I will look up the 3 attachment styles recommended. They sound interesting ๐
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