Human beings are complicated. We can be so stubborn about how the toilet seat should up or down and yet don’t know what we want for lunch. We can pour our hearts out to one person and act like everything’s OK with another. We want to shower someone with love and yet, our actions push the very people we love further away.
In fact, the closer we are with someone – be it spouse, partner, parent or children – the harder it seems. In this article, I’ve compiled a list of signs that someone doesn’t cares, but actually do (that someone could also be you!) If you have more to add to this list, drop a comment at the end of the article!
1. They Argue With You
You disagree with each other. You argue over how things should be done. You get upset. You get mad. Then you get back together. All of us are born with certain dispositions, different personalities if you may. Add to that a different set of upbringing, friends, generation, beliefs, values and media exposure. Multiplied by the number of years both of you have lived and we get a true melting pot of culture – regardless of how similar we think we are.
Differences of opinion is bound to happen when there are 2 human beings involved. The only difference is those that are close to us care enough to speak up and disagree – even though they know you may get upset or angry. In other words, they are taking a risk on your relationship simply because they care. Sometimes, an act of love is perceived as an act of non-love; unless we look beyond the surface and see their true intentions.
2. They Point Out Your Sh*t
Everybody wants someone who believes in them, supports them and encourages them to pursue their dreams. This is important – very important. But beyond just being a cheerleader, they also keep you in check. They are not afraid to voice out if they see you going astray or falling into a self-sabotaging downward spiral. In fact, they are probably the only ones calling you out on your sh*t.
It hurts, but remember, at least they care enough to tell you the truth. Calling you out also means they have not given up on you or your dreams. If you don’t care about someone, would you confront them for their benefit?
3. They Don’t Call Back
You know the stereotypical scene where the girl merajuk (sulk), hangs up the phone and waits passive-aggressively for the guy to call back? Or when the kid starts crying and mopping the floor with their t-shirt because they didn’t get their favourite potato chips? It might seem very romantic and loving when someone gives in to your demands. But, does it?
More often than not, the boy is afraid that the girl will break up with him (I mean, who really looks forward to call a thunderstorm?) and the parent is afraid of other shoppers judging them for their parenting style. In the long run, giving in to these demands only exacerbate things. They’ll demand more instead of learning to deal with their own emotions. So, sometimes, the best thing someone can do when met with an unreasonable request is to not call back. Just give them the space to be with their feelings and work things out on their own.
Love is tough. It’s not all cheesy and romantic like we see in the movies. And although painful, tough love is like a bitter medicine that heals. All of us need it from time to time so that we grow up and learn to be better for ourselves in the long run. It’s not easy when we’re on the receiving end, but neither is it easy when you’re on the giving end. The important thing is to remember the intention (to care & love) and always get back together and work things out.
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